Redirecting Children's Behavior of Tampa Bay gladly welcomes all

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Serving Dads all over Tampa Bay...

AND YOU CAN HELP!!!

DATES FOR 2010:    SATURDAYS FROM 10AM TO 1PM

MORTON PLANT HOSPITAL IN CLEARWATER: 1/23, 2/27, 3/27, 4/24, 5/22, 6/26, 7/31, 8/28, 9/25, 10,23, 11/6, No Dec.

FINALLY, THE HOLY GRAIL FROM CLASS! Impress your wife. Here is the link to the video for the baby squats that you saw (formerly called "the Magic Trick", renamed by one of the dads). While using this method for calming your crying baby, here are the important elements to remember:

1. If you are a woman who just had a c-section or someone who suffers from knee or back problems, know that there are other methods for calming your crying baby that might be better for you!

2. Left or right arm under both legs, hand holding opposite leg, just above the knee.

3. Other arm under opposite armpit (see video).

4. Slow, smooth motion. Can be done with arms under armpits as well (no legs involved, just simulate a similar motion).

5. This will generally calm your crying baby immediately unless they are in immense pain or have been immensely startled/frightened. If they are startled, let them calm down just a bit by holding them and then do the squats.

6. An alternate method is to just use your arms under their armpits, slow, gentle up & down motion...

7. The technique will work for almost all other situations, just remember though: if you have a hungry baby, it will work while actually doing the squats, but once you stop, they're still..... hungry. If they have a diaper that needs to be changed, same scenario, it works in the moment.

8. Works great if they're fussy, tired, or bored. BEST OF LUCK WITH YOUR BABIES!!!

BABY SQUATS, CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO!

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Resources for Car-Seat Installation

There is an amazing amount of information out there for people on how to install car-seats correctly.  There are even 3 & 8-hour courses on how to do so.  Not surprisingly, with that much emphasis on one activity surrounding the arrival of your newborn, it must be important, agreed?  Well, we can all be assured of a safe installation and get an excellent, short training on how to do it ourselves, by having a Certified Technician perform the installation. 

Call 866-SEAT-CHECK or visit SEATCHECK.ORG.

For information or to schedule an appointment with a certified child passenger safety technician at a North county fitting station, call :

CAR SEAT SAFETY HOTLINE

OR TRY ONE OF THESE LOCATIONS: *(IF THEY NO LONGER DO THIS, PLEASE HELP OTHER DADS & EMAIL ME AT GMARTIN@4RCB.COM TO LET ME KNOW)

Tarpon Springs Fire Rescue                                         938-3737

East Lake Fire Rescue                                                  784-8668

Oldsmar Fire Rescue                                                    (813) 855-1059

Palm Harbor Fire Rescue                                              784-0454 or 787-5974

Clearwater Fire Rescue                                                562-4322 or 462-6223

Clearwater Police Dept.                                                562-4171 or 562-4167

Largo Fire Rescue                                                        587-6714 ext. 2104

Largo Police Dep.                                                         587-6730 ext. 3007

Largo Medical Center                                                   588-5608

Safe Communities                                                       582-2678

Sunstar Ambulance                                                      582-2138

Seminole Fire Rescue                                                  393-8711

Florida Highway Patrol                                                  570-5010

Pinellas Park Fire Rescue                                              541-0712

Pinellas Park Police Dept.                                              541-0700

Americorp of Pinellas                                                   892-5494 or pager 516-6206

Lealman Fire Rescue                                                    526-5650

St. Petersburg General Hospital                                   341-4907

St. Petersburg Fire Rescue                                          892- KIDS (5437)

St. Pete Jeep/Chrysler                                                  323-2000

Belleaire Bluffs Fire Rescue                                          588-4623

Madeira Beach Fire Rescue                                          391-3400

Pasadena Fire Rescue                                                  344-1666

St. Pete Beach Fire Rescue                                          363-9207

Additionally, one of our Veteran Dads suggests: "For car seats call 727-582-2090. This is the main number for Sunstar. Ask for Charlene Cobb. They have all sizes except infant. The cost should be 10 dollars each. The only conditions are that they give you the seat and you have to come back 1 time to show them you have installed it properly." Definitely worth the extra trip!

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Music doth soothe…

This is a great topic of discussion for you and your wife to have before the arrival of baby.   What kind of sleeping environment do we want for our child?  Just know that there is no “one perfect setup”.  Babies adapt and then thrive with consistency.  In other words, if you set it up so that your newborn listens to classical (or rock, jazz, even RAP) music when he lays down for nappies, he’ll be better equipped to sleep in noisy places.  However, if you know that your home is well suited for a quiet environment (no noisy dogs nearby, traffic or construction, lawnmowers, etc.), then create that for them.  Also, less is more when it comes to items around the crib. Too much stimulation, for the first three weeks, will create unneeded challenges for you.  Keep this area clean & sparsely decorated (not sterile guys, just not a lot! When in doubt, defer to Mom!).

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CRYING - Your Baby’s First Language – LEARN IT!!!

Imagine sitting in a restaurant, asking your server where the bathroom is and having an hors d’oeuvre shoved in your mouth.  What would you do?  Scream a little louder, perhaps.  Once again, borrowing from the Tracy Hogg DVD, the acronym S.L.O.W. is your process for interpreting your baby’s first form of communication – crying.  Even before eye contact, crying is their means of letting you know they have a need. The acronym stands for STOP, LISTEN, OBSERVE, “WHAT’S UP”? So, instead of rushing in and automatically feeding your child, or even picking them up right away, STOP, look and listen, and grow accustomed to the pitch and the tone of the different cries.  Obviously you will want to react quickly to a high pitched scream or shrill, which indicates pain or fear, but even then, how you react is important, too.  For example, if they have been startled by a quick movement (or loud noise), then picking them up right away may exacerbate the situation.  Gentle touch, generally, is welcomed, so as long as they aren’t bleeding or choking, pick your baby up slowly, hold them close, and comfort them. Here’s an explanation of some different cries AND body gestures:

1.    Turning her head to the side (as if looking for something), rooting, moving her mouth – “I’m hungry!”

2.    Low pitched cry that gradually gets more intense. Hungry or diaper change!

3.    Legs up towards chest, high-pitched tone, scrunched up face – GAS!

4.    Already ate, been up and about, now turning his head away from objects and acting “fussy” – “I’m tired!

5.    High pitched scream, flailing body parts, I’M SCARED OR IN PAIN!

6.    Turning head away when you try to put a bottle in her mouth, but crying when you take it away – “BURP ME PLEASE, & LET’S GET BACK TO BUSINESS!”

From the book "Happiest Baby on the Block", there are five S's (swaddling, side, swinging, shushing, sucking) that mimic the experience within the womb and help comfort your child.

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CRYING - Getting them to stop!

Now that you know WHY, equally important is what to do about it, & how to do it! So, based on what you just read if you read the section on recognizing different cries, here's what to do:

1.    If they're saying – “I’m hungry!” - You might try feeding them... Ok, in more detail, make sure that you know what to feed them (mom usually handles this one initially). How can you help? Feed mom, feed baby when mom pumps or when using formula, etc. Make sure to heat the milk/formula to the right temperature. If using the microwave, warm the water that you'll use to heat the milk/formula in, not the actual milk/formula itself.

2.   Feed them or change their diaper.

3.    If they have gas, you can use gas drops. The one I'm most familiar with is Mylicon. I've also read about "Gripe Water", which works well for hiccups as well as gas. You can get it at Babies R Us.

4.    If they are tired, get them to bed. Check out the link for the "BABY BURRITO" when you get a chance.

5.    If they are scared or in pain, comfort them. This is where I might throw in a "BABY SQUAT" or two for good measure. Once calmed, if you stop & they start again, diagnose & solve the problem.

6.    If they need to be burped. Burp 'em!

***NOT SURE what they are asking for/needing? Baby squats, burritos, the sipping sound (lay baby down for this one), a drive in the car, place the portable car seat/base on the dryer, etc. Bear in mind though, you are forming habits (such as falling asleep. I know of parents who have had to regularly take their infants on rides to get them to sleep.  Bummer!). Choose which habit(s) you are ok with. Finally, use the net. Sites & books   www.thehappiestbaby.com ***

From the book "Happiest Baby on the Block", there are five S's (swaddling, side, swinging, shushing, sucking) that mimic the experience within the womb and help comfort your child.

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Infant CPR, not just a good concept

This important class is a benefit to all, including parents, grandparents, baby-sitters and child-care workers. Instructors certified by the American Heart Association teach life saving CPR techniques using infant and child mannequins. If you would like to register online, please click on Infant Child CPR, or you may call (727) 462-7743.

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The Five Baby Types

Most of us know, that most of the times, stereotyping can be a slippery slope.  That being said, there is yet another portion of the Tracey Hogg DVD that I will reference to. This will give yous guys more tools for getting through the first time you spend the day alone with your little one. In general, this can help you and your wife on a day-to-day basis with the big picture.  The theory is that there are five different baby types for your newborn.  Your job, of course, is to figure out which one(s) your baby displays and act accordingly.  The five baby types are:

Angel Baby:

Mild disposition, adapts easy to structure, cues are easy to read, not bothered by “curveballs” or changes in her environment/surroundings, extremely portable, sleeps easily and doesn’t cry when she wakes up and when crying, often is able to CALM HERSELF!  I’ll take three of those to go, THANKS!!!

Textbook Baby

Molds easily because she is so predictable. Will do everything on cue.  Sleeps through the night by three Months, rolls over by five and sits up by six Months.  She’ll smile back at you when you initiate it and even though she can be cranky from time to time, she’s easy to calm.  Once her routine is set up, she’ll follow it to a tee!

Touchy Baby

is your most fragile type of child. Because of the endless array of sensory challenges, he LOVES the predictability of routine. Turns his head away from bright lights, and will sometimes cry for no apparent reason.  In “baby-ease”, he is saying, “Yo, back off and chill, I’ve had enough and need some peace and quiet”… The more consistent you are, the better you’ll see eye to eye and the sooner he’ll sleep through the night.

Spirited Baby

Lands on his proverbial two feet right out of the womb.  In other words, he knows immediately what he likes and what he doesn’t, and she’ll let you know.  Doesn’t like lying in his own pee or poop and will say change me now with cries and displays of discomfort.  Definitely use the S.L.O.W. acronym with him to figure out what course of action to take (from last Month’s newsletter, email me at GMartin@4rcb.com if you want a copy sent).  Spirited babes like it a little rougher than most and will grab with a firm grasp at an early age.

Grumpy Baby

is tough.  Simply because they may not adjust to a routine and therefore, keep you guessing… Downright disagreeable, he’s mad at the world and he let’s you know it.  He doesn’t smile as much during the day, and he’ll fuss himself to sleep every night.  PATIENCE is key with this newbie!  They tend to cry louder and longer.  Keeping on track with them is quintessential for this one.  These are the ones that, in my opinion, get misdiagnosed, and labeled as colicky babies.  What they need is structure and perseverance.  YOU’RE DOING A GREAT JOB DAD, just get as much sleep and keep balance in life!

Did you notice a comMon theme throughout the majority of these baby types?  Go back and notice how the word consistency or routine creates an incredibly safe, nurturing environment for these little ones. ALMOST ALL NEWBORNS LOVE CONSISTENCY! If you want a creative child, consistency.  A well-behaved child, consistency.  A bold, daring child, consistency.  Doing this during the early stages does NOT cause them to be a certain way, but rather it gives them the ideal environment to “Be all that they can be” and choose their own identities.  Sports analogy:  An incredibly gifted athlete can sometimes be a real jackass  (“J.R.” MLB comes to mind).  Do you think his motivation is “I’m out to prove to the world that I’m good”?  Well, the fact is, that that same athlete could have been as good, if not better athletically, but be like Mike, attitude and personality-wise.  Their ability is roughly the same, but their motivation comes from a better source. Serious stuff, right?

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DEFINITIONS & CONCEPTS

MORE OF THESE TO COME, JUST GETTING STARTED!

Neonate

Infant

(Birth to 28 days) – Your job is to protect them from the environment. Intense stimulation, noisy, bright lights, no-nos.  Cuddle & hug.  Recognize that a frown, tightly shut eyes, or a scrunched forehead are signs of pain.

Infant

(29 days to 1 year) – Give age specific toys, use play as part of communication, allow choices when possible.

Daddy Pendulum

Rocking back & forth motion, even when your baby isn't in your arms (looks really funny at board meetings, presentations, etc.)

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POWER TIPS

REMEMBER THE "SQUATS" MAGIC TRICK TO INSTANTLY STOP A CRYING BABY. Will not work if they are in pain & will only temporarily work if baby is hungry!

Hand washing is the single-most important method to promote your newborn’s health and prevent infection & transmission of diseases.

There’s a different way to burp your baby, that doesn’t cause as much reflux.  You know, the stuff they throw up on Daddy?  Holding your baby upright, make a “V” with your thumb and pointer finger. Gently (but not too gently) rub on your baby’s side, starting just above the waist, up to the ribs. Try both sides. Hope it helps.

SIGNS TO LOOK FOR TO RECOGNIZE WHEN YOUR BABY IS TIRED:

4. Turn his/her head away and stare at an object.

3. Fussy after sitting in same position for a long time where they were content.

2. Some babies, sometimes, will get red near eyebrows.

1. AND the # 1 sign that your baby is tired: she/he falls asleep!

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Crying Babies!

Crying babies, for some, is like listening to someone run their fingers across the chalkboard.  So to minimize the parental anguish, below is a list of things you can do that might calm your baby, which you might not have otherwise thought of… One “trick” Richard tried that worked well for his girl, was running water. She just took well to the water (the sound, that is), and settled right down in the moment.  Another idea, putting them in their carrier, see how they feel about sitting atop the dryer while it’s running.  For some babies, car rides will do the trick so don’t be afraid to go out for a spin at 3:30am if it will help (be aware on the weekends when driving at that hour is more populated and dangerous). 

Remember your baby squats, that seems to be one of the most effective "quick fixes". Another option is to try what we are lovingly calling the "Baby Bong". Lay your child on the ground (near your computer speakers, but not too close) and CLICK HERE, typically their heads will turn towards you immediately and they will stop crying. It might work. It might only be temporary though, so figure out what he/she is trying to communicate!

If one thing doesn’t work, try something else. Your baby will give you the appropriate feedback! Remember, if the crying gets TOO stressful, leave the room, call a family member, friend, etc.  Take care of yourself so that you can take care of your family! Send an email to GMartin@4rcb.com with more tips for crying babies.

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Get your child to do ANYTHING!

First, let me say this with conviction:  DON'T GET THEM TO DO "ANYTHING" IF THEY SHOULDN'T BE DOING "ANYTHING". In other words, if you're teaching them how to play with fire remember the saying, "if you play with fire you're going to get burnt". Teach your child to do what they need to do (i.e. take their medicine, eat their peas, or sleep through the night!!!). The best method for teaching them AND for getting them to do something is MODELING! So, taste the medicine you're asking them to take, get on the floor and lay there quietly (for a half hour if you have to!) when she's in her crib. Comfort her when she's crying, but gently let her know that "it's time to go sleepies, night-night, etc. Hand things to him gladly to teach him how to share. Children LOVE mimicking us, so let them brush their teeth & comb their hair!  Call me if you want advice on specific things you'd like the little one to do.

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Activity Log

The activity log for your newborn comes from Tracy Hogg, creator/author of “The Baby Whisperer” (very informative).  The acronym she uses is E.A.S.Y., which is what your life is going to consist of for several weeks!  It stands for EAT, ACTIVITY (BABY’S), SLEEP, AND YOU TIME.  It is a GREAT thing to bring to your baby’s first well visit, as a one-week-old!AN ABSOLUTE MUST FOR SURVIVING WHEN THE FIRST TIME DAD IS HOME ALONE WITH BABY, MAKE SURE TO ASK MOM TO UPDATE THE E.A.S.Y. LOG BEFORE SHE DITCHES THE TWO OF YOU (MAYBE AT ONE WEEK, MAYBE AT 6 WEEKS, BUT IT'LL COME EVENTUALLY!).

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Review of Safety Issues Covered in class

STAGE 1:

NEONATE AND BEFORE THEY ROLL OVER OR CRAWL:

1. lights, sun, hot & cold temperatures, hot & cold water

2. Fingernails, cut them while baby sleeps!

3. Anything in their reach, that they can poke themselves with, or get lodged in their throats

4. Pets

5. SIDS - remember, BACK TO SLEEP! Babies should sleep on their backs or their sides, not their stomachs.

6. Shaken Baby syndrome - it doesn't take much. Remember the egg demo.

7. car-seat installation

8. Buckle up, THEN walk, push or lift!

STAGE 2:

ROLLING, THEN CRAWLING:

The FIRST time your baby rolls over, will it be a fun site to see or a SCARY noise you hear from the other room, followed by some LOUD crying?  Make sure you strap them on the changing table and BE THERE if they are laying on the bed IF they have started to arch their necks or it looks like they are ready to roll over. Generally they will do so as early as age 2 to 3 Months but it is NOT uncomMon for it to take 4 or 5 Months, it usually depends on your baby’s birth weight.

1. Outlets & cords

2. chemicals and cleaning supplies under the sink

3. stairs

4. water in any form, from POOLS to the dog dish

5. Sharp corners

6. fingers in doors

7. pulling objects onto themselves – MAKE SURE TO SECURE HEAVY FURNITURE & keep heavy or sharp objects out of their reach!

STAGE 3:

WALKING & CLIMBING:

Hopefully this won’t seem like a cop-out, but ANYTHING GOES as one of the veteran dads pointed out, and he’s right!  Our job at this point is to stay one step ahead of what he might be SCHEMING, & make his/her environment SIMPLE!!! A sock, a stool, etc. all dangerous if we aren’t paying attention, right?

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Little Climbers - Make the most of his ascent

By Melanie Nicsinger, Parenting Magazine, September 2005

Toddlers climb up on the kitchen table (or your desk, or the bed) for the same reason mountaineers scale Everest: Because it’s there.

“Kids this age are trying to find a balance between risk and challenge,” says Karen DeBord, Ph.D., associate professor of child development at North Carolina State University in Raleigh. Of course, you know that the challenge of climbing up the book-case isn’t worth the risk, but the average 15- to-18-Month-old’s ability to reason isn’t always in line with his physical prowess.

Climbing is an important physical milestone, though. It’ll help your child develop the coordination he needs to master skills like walking up steps.

It’s impossible to ban climbing, but you can make sure your child’s secure while he practices this new skill. To avoid accidents, keep an eye on your little climber and make an effort to:

• Provide safe opportunities for climbing. Toss sofa cushions or pillows on a carpeted floor, or let him loose at a toddler-friendly playground.
• Get a skidproof step stool. With close supervision, your curious kid can step up to the sink to brush his teeth or watch you make dinner at the kitchen counter.
• Anchor bookcases and other pieces of furniture to the wall, even if you think they’re too heavy to topple. Clear shelves of things that could fall on him — or that are tempting him to climb.
• Limit his access. Keep chair seats pushed under the table, and take a closer look at the stove: Could he get to it by climbing up shelves or cabinets?
• Put the crib mattress at the lowest setting. If he still climbs out, it’s time to move to a toddler bed.
• Set up gates at the top and bottom of the stairs. It’s the only way to keep your child from attempting that irresistible — but dangerous — ascent.
 

The good news: You’ll have a whole new appreciation for this skill when your child climbs into your lap to give you a hug!

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The Baby Burrito/Swaddling

Yet another way of calming a crying baby, this is also a great way to help your child sleep at night. Take a look at this YouTube video to learn how to do it and to see how quickly & effectively it can work. BABY BURRITO. Remember, it's okay to do this relatively snug. If your baby wants his/her arms out, they will get them out. That's a good thing!

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Supporting Mom

First, an observation. Did you notice the small nuance that she is now, or in the future will be, referred to as "Mom" instead of "Wife"? She is a different person in a way. Acknowledging that is smart. Supporting her during her "transformation" is essential. UNDERSTANDING that who she truly is, has not changed is necessary. What that means to us is that the woman we fell in love with is intact. It's OUR JOB, as men, to let her know that we are here for her now more than ever before in the relationship. What does that look like? Just like some of the other questions we asked during the class, let's POLL THE AUDIENCE. I will update your best responses each month. WHAT IS ONE WAY IN WHICH YOU SUPPORT YOUR WIFE DURING THE PREGNANCY & AFTER THE BIRTH OF YOUR BABY? EMAIL ME!

ENTRIES FROM January, 2008:

1. Bring her fresh fruits and tea or milk when she's breastfeeding.

2. massage her feet every day during the third trimester.

3. LISTEN TO HER (people are constantly telling us to do this, aren't they?). Maybe the idea has some merit!!!

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POOL SAFETY

Quite simply, gentlemen, take this seriously. Watch THIS VIDEO, and do other online research to educate yourselves about this one!!! PREVENTATIVE on this one guys, is so much better!

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